And now ... Quick Hits
Say what? Poor city councillor Fulvio Valentinis, trying to get a straight answer from a couple of health bureaucrats over methadone clinic zoning. The twosome registered about 95 per cent on the jargon or bureaucratese scale. They were so un-plain spoken they seemed like they were from another planet. No more bike paths: Public works departments listen up! You can stop spending money on, and planning future, bike paths. Why? They already exist. They’re called sidewalks. (joke) Quarter for her thoughts: CUPE leader Jean Fox tossed 25 cents into the council chamber in disgust Monday night as city council was about to vote to privatize parking enforcement, previously the domain of the union. And the point was? PETA pin-up: PETA activists are upset the City of Montreal won't grant a permit to put up a poster of animal-rights activist Pamela Anderson in a shapely pose with her body marked as cuts of meat. It's sexist, says the city. But PETA's prez says real feminists should be more concerned about the plight of female livestock. As for Pam, she says that whether it's people or livestock they're all "sisters under the skin."
Detroit death spiral: Detroit: population 910,000. Detroit bus system: 472 vehicles and 44 routes. Sounds like the big city? Nope. This weekend drivers held a "sick in" stranding passengers. The drivers, you see, wanted to attend a funeral. The democrat: City councillor Ken Lewenza Jr. complains that it is not “truly democratic” to have a report on privatizing waste disposal dumped on councillors a week prior to a council meeting to vote on the proposal. Not enough time to study it, you see. But young Ken had no problem when just last week, as chair of the Windsor Utilities Commission (WUC), he pushed through a five per cent water rate hike for each of the next five years, in clear defiance of the wishes of council, the elected body that oversees the commission. Fend for yourselves: Just like our government to blow $1.1 bil on overpriced security around their own compounds during the G (gabfest) 8 & 20. As for the little people – the businesses (read: taxpayers who paid for this obscenity) that actually did have their shops bashed in by deranged anarchists – no security in sight. Bus-off! That was a pretty grouchy Caroline Postma telling Tecumseh where to get off with its little bus that could. Bitter that the city lost an Ont. Highway Transportation Board ruling to prevent Tecumseh’s annoying putt-putt bus from entering the big city, Postma, a city councillor and Transit Windsor chair (she won’t be running for re-election this fall) gave in so many words the you-know-what to Tecumseh Mayor Gary McNamara (“That guy’s dreaming – it’s not going to happen”) who was only seeking free transfers from the town’s bus to Windsor’s fleet of behemoth - and underutilized - coaches.
Khmer Rouge calling: We know the Toronto G20 Summit has now become the black hole of all “don’t go there” warnings. Heck, even innocent Windsorites can’t take the Via train to Union Station during the garrison gabfest. But what brought back memories was news that Toronto hospitals would be emptying their wards of patients to make room for casualties from freak show rioting. Shades (okay, very slight) of what Cambodia’s Khmer Rouge guerrillas did in 1975 when they hauled patients out of hospitals and forced them to labour in the countryside. Railroaded: CAW Via Rail negotiator Bob Chernecki says choo-choo train staff “aren’t well paid and they deserve a decent agreement.” But the working-on-the-railroad (okay enough with the plays on words!) staff claim $22 per hour and skilled trades haul in $27. Sounds of silence: First the City of Windsor has a problem enforcing its noise bylaw for residents perturbed by ongoing party-hartying U of Dub students. You see, bylaw officers don’t work late at night. Now it has a problem enforcing the same bylaw against motorcyclists and their noise-numbing vehicles because well, “the vehicle is in motion.”
Manly men shortage: A University of Windsor researcher says laid off industrial workers in the Windsor area are losing their male identity. Christopher Greig says there’s resentment, for example, because the wife – working no doubt in some social service job – is bringing home the bacon. These men want a return to old-fashioned values and decry the “chickification” of society. For some reason Monty Python’s Lumberjack Song comes to mind. Fashionable lobbyist: The Windsor Star thought it would be nice to describe the outfit Nora Maroun, wife of Ambassador Bridge owner Matty – make that “Manny” as he prefers to be called – was wearing in Lansing when she was lobbying state representatives last week - that is a “bright orange blazer.” So next time we can expect that when a male lobbyist presses the flesh we’ll get a description of his colourful shirt or tie, right? Leave for Li: Vincent Li is to be released on supervised outings from a Manitoba mental health centre. Li of course is notorious for beheading his sleeping seat mate, a passenger on a Greyhound bus, a couple of years ago. No word from authorities on whether Li will be given a bus pass. Thanks for the memory: Very nice of CUPE trying to rebond with Windsor citizens after last year’s three-month crippling civic strike. They threw a picnic and even the public was invited. But, er, the Dieppe Park location brought back the thought of the infamous You Tube video (now “removed by the user”) – the one where the angry CUPEist spread trash after earnest citizens tried to clean a riverfront park.
Beer grinch: Besides regulating liquor sales the Ontario government now is banning beer. In this case an Austrian lager, Samichlaus, with a pic of old Saint Nick on the label. Seems the Alcohol and Gaming Commission (the same ones that approves bar licences) has a policy against selling alcohol products with images that look like they could be advertising to children. Human cruelty: Glad that a few hundred marchers turned out on the weekend against animal cruelty. Now let’s see if there’s a lone demonstrator the next time a child is sexually abused. Deuce: CUPE rep Laura Moore suggests a reason for her union throwing in the towel in contract talks against the mighty town of Tecumseh is the imminent municipal election. Can you imagine, politicians stooping so low as to listen to what voters want – like taking a stand against the union? That, in Moore’s books, is “unfair advantage.” By that reasoning does the union have “unfair advantage” when it controls a critical public service like garbage pick-up and holds a community hostage during a strike, but can’t do that in Tecumseh, because the Windsor suburb contracts out its garbage? Pen is mightier: Detroit Free Press columnist Oneita Jackson, who refers to herself as Big Mouth, fesses-up (well, she was caught on video) to vandalizing - by writing her name on a bench - the strikingly beautiful $5 million pedestrian bridge motorists pass under after exiting the Ambassador Bridge in Detroit, less than a day after the bridge opened. Just goes to show that for a journalist there's more ways than one to get yourself into trouble with a pen.
Transit trance: The City of Windsor doesn’t want the Town of Tecumseh to run a bus service into the great big city. We know that when it comes to transit, the big city and Essex County’s little towns don’t always get along. But really, who %$@&*^# cares? Extending the Tecumseh bus to a Windsor shopping centre would, you know, be a convenience to the public. Ever hear of them? Cup runneth over: Mississauga gets the 2011 Memorial Cup tournament despite Windsor being head over heels a better hockey town and probably having a better overall bid compared to the Toronto faceless high-rise burg. But money snaps myopic GTA-based OHL officials to attention. Besides, it’s hard to look beyond the concrete towers when they couldn’t even haul the MVP trophy for the Spitfires' victory down to – where? – Windsor. Death wish: So this is how CARP, the country’s leading organization for retired people, wants to celebrate a “new vision for aging in Canada?” It holds an annual meeting at a local funeral home.
How much wood? It seems the late autoworker Joseph Chimczuk, renowned cheapskate that he was, didn’t have any qualms about saddling the City of Windsor with lots of costs to build a museum in his name. Yes, build a museum, he stipulated in his will. But make sure it’s in a brand new building, guaranteed to add costs to a financially strapped city. Life lessons: Those students who got jobs in the City of Windsor’s summer employment lottery will learn the way of the world quickly. Yeah, they’ll probably learn some skills on the job. But they’ll also learn they have to pay union dues whether they join the union or not. Criminals do your part: We hope Windsor criminals will cut down on their major crimes this year because the Windsor police department is trying to manage its budget. Police Chief Gary Smith says the department is planning only a 1.34 per cent increase to just over $64 mil. But he said that is “subject to major crimes” where police have to deploy “right away” and the overtime costs that can result. Now that’s objectivity: U of W filmmaker Zachary Lawton makes a film about “block busting” by the Ambassador Bridge – you know, the boarded up houses along Indian Rd. But did the “communication” student talk to the bridge co.? Or to the city about the fact maybe city council and its freeze on demolitions in the neighbourhood might have had something to do with this? Never mind. According to Lawton, it’s a foregone conclusion because “it’s usually the ‘big man’ that wins out.”
That’s the spirit: In the debate over new housing development charges Windsor councillor Alan Halberstadt said it’s time to face facts and realize there’s no growth in Windsor. Other communities may be planning for “smart growth” but given Windsor’s stagnant and possibly diminishing future population we should plan for “smart decline.” Waste contract possibility: Perhaps the folks at the Essex-Windsor Solid Waste Authority should give officials up the highway in Simcoe County a call. After all, they've had no takers offering the big Essex dump as a receptacle for Toronto-area trash. But, as the latest in the federal Guergis-Jaffer scandal reveals, MP Guergis intervened in a proposal for a company associated with her husband offering a hi-tech solution to Simcoe's perennial waste woes. Get on that phone right away! Sexist Ignatieff: In attempting to tarnish the reputation of former Tory minister Helena Guergis, under investigation for who-knows-what by the RCMP, esteemed Harvard scholar and Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff identified her as “Mrs. Jaffer” – the surname of her husband Rahim Jaffer - when Guergis goes by her own name. And hasn’t anyone told Iggy that the honorific “Mrs.” hasn't really been good form since, well, the 1970s?
Taxpayer clean-up: It’s always nice to know that it’s taxpayers who can bail out private companies who didn’t clean up after themselves. Here we have the former Wickes Manufacturing (Wickes Windsor Bumper) plant, now out of business an astonishing 20 years but a blighted toxic site nonetheless. The city seized the property on the far east side for $3 mil in back taxes. Now it has to spend more than $230,000 to start to clean up the site, plus $800,000 to demolish the eyesore. Total costs could run to $6.3 mil. Didn’t mom say you were supposed to clean up after yourself? Highway junk food: Apparently the developers of Hwy 401's spanking new service centres (closed for two years; someone forgot to tell US tourists) haven't heard the word that people are eating healthier. Let's see: the same tired fast food places will be adorning "Southern Ontario's main street." There will eventually be trendy new eateries, most of them also of the calorie-laden variety. But sitting in your car and driving isn't exercise, is it? More technology, less privacy: And you thought Canada Post was bad. The Finnish mail service will begin opening mail – that’s right, all mail including love letters and overdue notices – scan the documents and send them to your computer. Comparable to web banking, says a post office employee.
Canucks flagged: Interesting how, when an American flag is involved, Canadians have no qualms about replacing it with a Maple Leaf, all for a bit of shenanigans of course. That’s what a couple of Canucksters allegedly did in deep southern California after Canada’s Olympic hockey win over the U.S. The Stars and Stripes was buried under a pile of rocks. Wonder how these Canadian patriots would feel if the same was done to their beloved Maple Leaf. Remember the outcry after the Canadian flag was inadvertently flown upside down by a U.S. Marines colour guard in the 1992 World Series? U purges speech: One of ‘O Canada’s’ esteemed higher learning institutes, some place called University of Ottawa, has felt fit to inform US right-wing pundit Ann Coulter to watch her P’s & Q’s when speaking on said hallowed campus. It was an administrator who forwarded the missive, no doubt tossed in nearest waste basket. Not to be outdone student fed president (dictator?) Seamus Wolfe tried to get the imperialist Yank to speak off campus after barring putting up event posters. But of course this is Ottawa, home to tight-derriered bureaucratic minds, old and young. Whoops it’s Whoopi: Why is it not surprising to learn that “the Goldberg” put on a show of, at times, sickening humour for the multitudes at Caesars? Just confirms the level to which the culture has sunk. Of course, for some, a la the “W,” they never emerged to begin with. (Memo to Caesars: any refunds?)
Miracles do happen: The announcement that a Tennessee private health company is buying the huge downtown Detroit Medical Centre, spending $850 mil on investments, creating 5000 construction jobs, adding new wings and major renovations to the various hospitals at the site (at which many Canadian nurses work) shows that, after year upon year upon year of bad news and utter misery for the city next door, yes and hard to believe, but good things can still happen.
Donut alert: A report says the RCMP is booking 49,500 room nights in Toronto this June to provide security for the G20 leaders’ summit (okay, gabfest). The force is planning to reserve 5,500 rooms per night for nine nights. The summit takes place over two days. Santa generosity: Yes it’s only just under $4000. And perhaps the City of Windsor could waive permit and similar fees for the annual Santa Claus Parade. But wait a minute. The Santa Claus Parade is a highly popular event. More than 60,000 people turn out for it. Why couldn’t the organizers do a pass-the-hat with volunteers at the event and raise a collection from bystanders along the parade route? No doubt they would raise more than $4000. Moreover there must be other ways, including some sort of yearly fundraisers, to shore-up revenue. This seems a funding no-brainer. Government job killer: Stephanie Jones of the Canadian Restaurant and Foodservices Association is berating the provincial government for imposing minimum wage increases amounting to 8.6 per cent last year and 7.9 per cent this year. Increased costs and a poor economy mean there are 3000 fewer restaurants in Ontario today than there were in 2003. Most restaurant jobs are entry level, performed by people under 25, teach important skills, and many are tipped. All very true. But, you see, Stephanie, the role of government is not to create jobs, but to kill them.
Scratch that meeting: Who knew our city councillors were so busy? My goodness, the demands on their time! Almost 300 meetings a year requiring their civic responsibilities? And many of these scheduled the same nights as council meetings (don’t planners of those meetings know city council’s schedule?). But never fear. A new absentee policy which will set out the reasons for our elected officials’ absences should go a long way to showing the electorate exactly why they have opted out of the Monday night (and other meetings) gabfests. Including if it’s only for vacation. You get an F: New reports cards will not have letter grades. In these oh-so-sensitive times education planners probably thought grades were discriminatory. How can you have “A” students and “B” students? It’s like 1st and 2nd class citizens! New report cards instead will have tepid remarks like “progressing with difficulty.” But still “progressing,” get it? Maybe educators should just get an old-fashioned F. Crossed workers: Marathon Oil lets workers know who’s boss, even if it’s not on company time. More than 40 workers at the company’s Detroit refinery were fired – that’s right fired – after being caught jaywalking across a public street outside company property. But, alas, a resolution was reached with the union, and the recalcitrant workers will only serve a three-day suspension. But they’ve been warned: ‘if you do it again, you’re outta here!’
Women on ice: Love the fact Canada’s women’s team celebrated with beer and bubbly on the ice (not to mention taking over the Zamboni; oh ya oh ya - don't forget the stogies!) following their smashing victory against the red white and blue Yanks (no offence, Yanks!) in the Olympics final. The celebration belied stereotypes about how women and young athletes are expected to deport themselves. And that being Canadian also means you can't have fun. You go girls!
New cliche for hard times: With the City of Detroit’s budget expected to shrink between $360 and $720 million – gasp! – one top official has revised the cliché “doing more with less” to doing “less with less.” Hot Diggity: So the time-honoured hot dog is making the young’uns choke? Here’s an idea. Keep the regular size hot dogs for the grown-ups but make sure they’re clearly-labelled ADULT preferably without see-through wrap. And you know those mini hot dogs for party plates no one eats anymore? A whole new market - make them KIDS’ hot dogs. Clever, no?
Council no shows: The next time city councillors miss meetings for no good reason they should stay after class, er, meeting, and write one-hundred times “I’m a very bad councillor and won’t miss another meeting”.....or sit in a corner with a Dunce cap ..... or – what were they thinking?
Debit scam: We’ve always wondered why people use debit cards. They seem to be a way of accelerating the emptying of one’s bank account. They’re plastic so cash out of sight out of mind, right? Credit cards are preferred. Not only do you make interest for a month before you pay your bill but you can collect points and other incentives. ”Discovery” school: Only what parents are “discovering” at Lakeshore’s relatively new Discovery School, with vast overcrowding, isn’t so good – abysmal washrooms, soiled floors...okay, enough.
Sinatra recycles: Not only do mob bosses dress well (see below) but their families invest in recycling businesses, or did. The National Post reports that Montreal's Rizzuto family owned thousands of shares in a company that did business with several Canadian cities, including Windsor, for pedestrian recycling bins. We've heard about laundered money but recycled trash? Sinatra lives: You have to hand it to the Mafia. They’re the only ones who still dress like it’s 1957. Here he is in all his glory, reputed Montreal mob boss Nicolo Rizzuto, arriving in court this week, looking dapper in white shirt, tie, overcoat and of course fedora. He probably did it his way, too.
Agony (definition): Being subjected to Canadian network television during Super Bowl commercial breaks. They misspoke: Barack Obama telling cash-strapped Americans not to “blow a bunch of cash in Vegas” brought a denunciation from Las Vegas’s mayor who said O, who had made a similar comment about Sin City last year, was “a real slow learner” and had a “psychological hang-up” about his fair town. And, on the Toyota front, Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood told worried Toyota drivers to simply “stop driving” their vehicles. Oh okay. Conflicted: Good to see councillors Caroline Postma, Ron Jones and Bill Marra recuse themselves from city council discussion over the volatile daycare issue. The reasons? Jones’s sister-in-law is a manager in the social services dept., Postma reportedly has a friend closely involved in the issue, and Marra heads an agency that has funded daycare seasonal employment. Obviously these councillors have raised the ethical bar. We’re waiting now for a councillor to excuse herself because she’s a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend who has some “I-can’t-remember-exactly-what-it-was” involvement in the issue under debate....
Not sale days: With OPSEU putting up a strong front - WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT, DO YOU HEAR? - about any plan by Ontario's Grits to seek concessions because, well, the province happens to be $24.7 billion in the hole, it raises the question. Back in the early 1990s when former premier and socialist comrade-in-arms Bob Rae imposed union concessions the same angry union labelled them "Rae Days." If golly-gee-good Dalton McGuinty imposes the same unpaid days off, will the union call them "Dalton Days?" Hmm, has a nice ring to it. Bonk: Oh yes the Conference Board of Canada predicts Windsor will grow by a nice 2.6 per cent this year. Then word comes that a net 250 Ford jobs will be lost when the Windsor Engine plant eliminates its second shift making engines for the F-150 pick-up.
The Owe in Obama: Remember the O signs during the 2008 presidential campaign? Some said they looked like a service station logo. But they take on new significance. That’s because the Congressional Budget Office is now predicting a $1.35 trillion deficit this year. Meanwhile the total public debt north of the border is $12,245 trillion smackers. Carping about carp: What is it with the Detroit media? About every third day there’s some news story, editorial or columnist, carping about the ferocious Asian carp’s threat to the Great Lakes' ecosystem. Now comes word the threat may be overblown. Like garbage from “Canada” there are a select few topics that seem to obsess the Michigan media. Asian carp is the latest. Yeah, we’re sure that’s what the hoi polli are really concerned about as they down their morning coffee over at Denny’s. What goes around...: Or, unintended consequences dept. That City of Windsor CUPE strike last summer has not only resulted in city council looking at contracting out parking and garbage services but closing daycare centres, a main reason being that parents withdrew kids because the centres weren’t open during the strike.
Can’t resist dept: The city’s (former?) Integrity Commissioner Earl Basse didn’t show up at city council Monday to discuss his report into Coun. Ron Jones’s numerous Blackberry phone calls to CUPE 543 President Jean Fox during last year’s civic strike despite saying he would be present. That’s what you call not having a lot of ... integrity.
Sergio's wardrobe (2): WON isn't the only publication to comment on Sergio Marchionne's sweather addiction. Car and Driver magazine felt the need to divert attention from covering the look of cars to covering the look of the Chrysler CEO.
Click here to read it
Dirty politics: Whoever thought there would be a bidding war for dirt? But if you thought Windsor’s relationship with Essex County was already bad you probably haven’t seen anything. With excavation of a few million cubic yards for the Windsor Essex Parkway municipal reps are already putting their stakes in the ground. The city could build a Malden Hill II or III. A private quarry in Amherstburg says it could use the dirt to fill a quarry. A’burg Mayor Wayne Hurst wants it to cap a soda ash pond. And the Essex-Windsor Solid Waste Authority thinks it should line the old Maidstone dump. Watch out for a lot of mud-slinging in the months ahead.
Sergio’s sweater: Sergio Marchionne we love you. Not only are you a U of Windsor grad but, until now, the hero for rescuing Chrysler. But, hey, that sweater you were wearing at the auto show. Every time we see you, you seem to be in the same sweater. Okay fine, we understand you’re a busy guy and living out of a suitcase commuting between Turin and Auburn Hills. But maybe you could at least change the colour once in awhile?
Good pay if you can get it (4): It’s true Essex County councillors voting themselves a raise (only politicians have this perk) may not add a hill of beans to flatter-than-flat Essex County. An additional $19,000 for all concerned? Who cares! But the warden’s pay does go up from $46,000+ to $57,000+. That’s a tidy sum, especially for someone who has another job. But not to worry, we could be living in Toronto, where councillors rake in $100,000 each per year.
Ernie for Mayor! Good to see Ernie Lamont has tossed his hat into the ring for Windsor’s top job. He’s sure looking dapper these days though the gray hair is a bit of a surprise (we all age). And that nifty new Bacon Man vehicle looks a few notches up from the traditional Bacon van festooned with logos. Ernie claims to be the father of casino gambling in Windsor. And this visionary is fast off the mark with more grandiose schemes. The 747 plane resto on Riverside Dr. is a great idea. But he would have to contend with speeding drivers wanting to get home from work, complaints from hi-rise residents who don’t like the noise of jet engine thrust, and riverfront purists who would object to its blocking the scenic view of Detroit. How much is that baloney, er, pepperoni, Ernie?
'When I was in school...' They didn’t go in for these here ”informal progress reports” for the elementary young’uns. No, they had real report cards with real marks, in fact percentages out of 100. These came four times a year. How did the stressed-out (term wasn’t invented) teachers achieve that? Why, they gave exams (not “tests”) on knowledge covered up to that time. Simple to do – just collect the exam results on the different subjects, divide the results, and you get the student’s average. Plop on report card & send little Johnny on his way. Teacher didn’t have to meet the parents either.
One down, another to go: A Caledonia family has settled out of court in their lawsuit against the province and OPP over what the family said were police and government officials abandoning them to lawnessness by native protesters. Now word comes that OPP Commissioner Julian Fantino will face a criminal charge in influencing - and thereby intimidating - local municipal councillors for backing those opposed to the protest. My my.
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